Steven vs the Universe
by RayLedgend
Summary: Steven and the three girls he hangs out with have an adventure. It doesn't go so well for one of them.


**Ok so I never watched Steven Universe, and all I know about it is that their stupid ass fans made a girl try to kill herself some months ago. I am bored so I wrote this.**

It was early morning and Steven and his 3 bitches were woken up by the alarm clock ringing.

"Good morning Steven, hunny" said the black girl he hangs out with. "I've got a feeling today will be a great day, don't you?"

"Bitch, who the fuck said you could talk." Steven remarked dismissively.

"Uh oh." The blue fatty chick said quietly, as she reached into the bucket of KFC she slept next to and dipped it in some mashed potatoes and ate it.

"You shut up too, blue thing!" Steven said as he bitch slapped her. Then he took her KFC bucket and ate it. "This cardboard tasytes like shit. Bitch, get me real food. I'm stavered."

The chick with white hair went downstairs got him a banana, remaining quiet like Stevie likes.

"Took you long enough, bitch." Steven devoured the banana and threw the peel onto white hair bitch's face. She did not object. Steven burped and scratched his crotch. He then picked up the TV remote and turned on pay per view. There was his favorite movie playing: Barney and Friends. It was a premium channel and it cost 300 dollars a month.

"Ah shit, man." Steven said. "It feels like it's time for my 7th rewatch. FATTY! Give me your credit card so I can get access."

"Uh, steven, u know I'm still negative after you – I mean I – bought all those dominos pizzas last week."

"God damn!" Steven roared. "I understand why God gave women mouths, but did he need to give 'em vocal chords too!?" He took off his gay star shirt, rolled it in a ball and forced it into blue chick's mouth to shut her up.

"Listen fat n' blue, I didn't ask your opinion, I asked for your credit card. So hand it over, before I get slappy, bitch." She solemnly did as ordered. Steven grabbed the credit card and typed in the information on the tv remote.

"Honestly, maybe you should have thought about going in the negative before you bought all those pizzas." Steven said grumpily. The black bitch spoke up.

"Steven I distinctly remember that you were the one-"

Steven got out his whip, and reeled back. "I suggest you think carefully about how you've gonna end that sentency, black gitl."

"Yes sir." She hung her head low. Then the Barney theme song came on.

"Oh man, it's starting. Alright, bitches. All of you leave me to my privacy!"

They left, but he called them back into the bedroom. "Bitches get back in here! I shit the bed again!" All three of them exchanged disgusted looks and argued under their breaths who should go wash the sheets. The fat chick could not argue because she had a shirt in her mouth, so she got sent in.

"Oh look who it fucking is." Steven grumpled. "It's blue girl. Alright fatty, clean it up!" She tried to get close, but the stench was awful and she threw up a little. The shirt was still in her mouth, so she tossed her salad all over it if you get what I mean.

"Not again!" Steven yelled. "Honestly, wide load, I don't even know why I keep you around. You can't even do simple chores like this without ruining my property. MINE!" Steven ripped the shirt from her mouth and smeared it on her face. The heavyweight blue thing sniffled and tried to hold in tears after Steven's abuse.

"Oh, are you crying, bitch!? Why? Did someone take the last slice of cake? Did they make you get too close to a treadmill? Poor fuckin' baby. Literally, you 600 pound blob, you can just go ahead and have that heart attack right now, do us all a favor." Steven shaked his fist. The blue girl started crying full force.

"And here come the water works. Careful, with all those salty ass McDonalds fries you push down that gaping fuckin' hole in your face, you don't want to lose too much fluid." The blue girl sobbed openly, wailing and crying. Steven spit on her face. "Shut UP bitch." He yelled.

Now the girl with white hair walked in and hesitantly joined in. "Y-yeah, what Steven said, wide load! If you're gonna be such a waste of space, could you at least not waste so much of it!?"

The blue bitch was now devastated. She could feel her heart shatter inside. She thought they were all in this together, but now her comrade in this abuse turned on her.

Steven opened his mouth to talk and the white hair shut her eyes fearing a reprimand, but it did not come. "That's right, what white hair said! Of every person I have ever know, no one has been as ugly, moronic, useless and of course fucking enourmous as you, Triple-XL! You can't even clean my shit properly." He turned and motioned to white hair. "Come back onto the bed with my whitey. You and I are cool."

It was hard for the white haired girl not to cringe at the idea of getting so close to the shit stain on his mattress, but she smiled unwillingly and thanked him. "Wow, it's so nice up here, Steven." She managed, politely. "But it would be even better if a certain lard bucket would actually do her job and clean up your shit, don't you agree?"

"Damn fucking right! Binch, I get that you got a lotta body weight to pull around, but get on it already!"

"Today!"

Steven and white hair high fived and laughed at blue fat's oily tear soaked misery face.

The blue girl was so sad now she wanted to die. She felt her breasts, and she knew that most of it was lard, not shapeliness. The vomit soaked sweater finally peeled from her face and her sobbing face was on full display. Her mouth hung open desparately inhaling and exhaling and snot came out her nose. It was fucking hilarious, actually. _Well, at least me and the African American lady are still together in this._ Blue fatty thought to herself. _She and I are so close, she would never betray me for Steven's approval._

"And another thing!" The black girl walked in to chime in. "I know you aint never heard of exercise, fatness, but you still sweat like a hog under all that 'insulation.' Could you please put on extra deodorant, and I mean in all your folds, not just your pits, okay hun? Please, for heaven's sake! I honestly don't know why we even hang out. You make me want to throw up and end my life."

The fat monster looked at the African American lady with wide eyes thinking 'not you too.'

"Ha! Too right, black girl. Come on up here with me and white hair!" The black girl quickly got on the bed and joined Steven. Suddenly all of Steven's abuse was aimed right at the blue fat, not spread among all three anymore. And on top of that, newfound abuse from her two trusted allies was staring her in the face too. Blue thing now found herself at an onslaught of hatred from everyone she knew. She knew that all that awaited her in the future was cleaning up shitty bedsheets, getting Steven food and being insulted and belitted until she died. She wanted to die.

"Come on, blue! Before you break the floor or some shit! Just roll on over here and fix the bedsheets! Do something right for once in your pitiful life, and I don't mean those competitive eating competitions!" Said the white hair.

"Listen hun, I know your mind is clouded with the thoughts of bacon cheeseburgers right now, but Steven here asked you to do a chore, so I suggest you get crackin'!"

"And do it now, before I miss the ending of Barney!"

Fatty, fatty, fatty!

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Screamed the blue fat through fat cheeks.

Blue fat attempted suicide several times, but she was too fat for it to work. She tried drinking poison and ODing on medication, but her fat body diluted it all. She tried cutting and stabbing but thick layers of lard prevented her from reaching any arteries. She tried jumping from high places and leaping into traffic, but her thick layers of fat cushioned the impact. She tried shooting herself, but the bullets simply orbited around her intense mass. She was simply too fat to take her own life, and every time she tried, Steven and the other two laughed at her harder than the last time. Her life ended in shambles.

 **The End**

 **This story was an allegory. Blue fat represents the girl that tried to kill herself because Steven Universe fans disliked her art. Steven and the other two represent Steven Universe fans. Barney the Dinosaur represents Steven Universe the show, since they are of comparable quality.**


End file.
